A Unique Handfasting Ceremony: Love and Pride Celebrated

This past Saturday, on 21-June-2025, which not coincidentally was Litha (Summer Solstice), Jenni and I were handfasted. Before twenty-five of our closest friends, we declared our love for one another, now and for the rest of our lives. Handfasting is a Pagan tradition. Jenni and I are both Pagan, though from somewhat different traditions.

She and I are both transgender women. Our ceremony was not just our wedding, but also a small, private, Pride event. The decorations were all Pride and Trans themed. The ceremony was outside, in 95 degree Fahrenheit temperature. This was the hottest day of the year, of course, to ring in Summer. The food was all prepared by us and our attendants. One couple insisted on bringing the beverages. They flew in from Los Angeles and bought wine, water, iced tea, and other various beverages.

I wore a white gown in a flowing medieval style. Jenni wore the same gown, but in forest green. Our handfasting cord was custom made in the colors of the trans flag. The altar was set up under an arch draped with the same colors as our gowns. Gift bags for the guests included various Pride accoutrements. They also had a sampling of now seldom seen candies from our childhoods.

The guests sheltered under a small tent erected over the seating for the ceremony. Afterwards, the reception and meal was served under a larger tent buffet style. We served pulled pork, potato salad, Southern style green beans, and collard greens. We took a shortcut on the vegetables. Both the green beans and the collards were from cans, but I assure you they were very much Southern style. One guest even asked for the recipe for the collards.

For dessert, we served freshly baked (by Jenni) vanilla cupcakes. They were gluten free, and you absolutely couldn’t tell it. They were divine. They were iced with vanilla frosting and pride star sprinkles. Each had a trans flag toothpick to top it. Of the seventy-two cupcakes, about thirty were consumed on that day. The rest were divided between a few guests and brought back to the home of our attendants.

Our attendants were the the couple who generously provided us a place to park our trailer when we ran away to Wisconsin. But more than that, they are chosen family. We jokingly refer to ourselves as a platonic polycule. The event was hosted at the home of one of their parents. They happily accepted the job of making this event come together. They were our “Chaos Coordinators.” We love you both. We couldn’t ever have pulled this off without you. More importantly, you have loved and supported us through some very difficult times.

And so the journey continues. And now, Janet and Jenni Logan have committed to sharing that journey together.

Tags: handfasting, Litha, Paganism, Pride Event, trans, Trans Elders, Trans Joy, Transgender