Yes, this is going to maybe be a bit TMI for some readers. You are forewarned.
Today, I had a surgery consult for an orchiectomy. I like the surgeon. Once I have my required mental health letters1 I will be starting the scheduling and insurance pre-approval process. My therapist is on vacation this week. We’ve already discussed my intention, so I imagine the letters are pretty much a foregone conclusion. Then it’s a matter of scheduling the pre-op appointments, and scheduling the actual surgery.
I told my (cis female) cousin a few minutes ago of my plan. She had a few questions, but they were of the nature of “How long for recovery?” and “Will this make you feel whole and happy?”. She has been a great supporter throughout the time since I came out. I hadn’t said anything to her about the surgery thought process before today. I wanted to have the consult first.
Ultimately? Her response was: “That makes my heart happy”. I’m crying tears of joy. I’m so excited, and I just can’t wait until I can begin the next steps. Once the surgery is done, I will move forward with legal name and gender change.
The journey continues, and today, it’s joyous. This is a really big step forward, and one I really didn’t believe I’d ever be able to take.
- These letters are only ever required for trans people who want to have some form of gender-affirming surgery. Cis women can have a hysterectomy, or breast augmentation, and no one needs to see “proof of mental competence” before they have their surgery. It’s gate-keeping, pure and simple. I understand that it’s the insurance companies that push this. They want to avoid paying for everything they possibly can. But it’s also tied up in the whole “They must be insane if they think that they are women” BS that’s always surrounded women like me. âŠī¸
Such good news-my heart is happy, too, and I’m happy for you! I know the initial excitement may wear off some, but I’m excited for you, getting to be you.
I want to toss in that aside from your absolutely correct calls about gate-keeping, part of it is also insurance companies wanting protection from lawsuit should a patient have deep remorse post-surgery. I know that doesn’t happen, but insurance companies are insurance companies. They have risk management agents who think of any and every little thing that could happen and become a liability. Honestly, it’s probably more that, than thinking a trans woman is insane, though I’m sure that’s occurred to them, as well. If that helps a little bit.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Ali! đ And yeah, that does help a bit. đ
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Janet. I wish all the best and quick healing from the surgery. I wish you all the joy in being who you know you are. Hugs. Scottie
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Scottie. đĢ
LikeLiked by 1 person