Respected Elder

Today, someone I’ve known for maybe a dozen years, who recently came to modern Paganism, referred to me, unironically, as a “respected elder”. I truly never believed I’d hear anything like that again.

You see, modern Paganism is highly gendered. Priestesses and Priests represent Goddesses and Gods. When I reached “elder” status in the eyes of the Pagan community, I was still presenting male, and I was a Priest representing, in the eyes of the community, the Gods. The Goddesses and Gods knew my truth, as did a few of those to whom I was closest.

My “sudden” transition to female presentation threw most of those people who had accepted me as elder for quite a loop. As a result, I was, not ostracized as such, but I definitely lost status. Surely I needed to start over to reach the status of being able to represent the Goddesses.

I don’t fault those people. They didn’t know that in my heart of hearts I’d always been female, and worked with the Goddesses much more than the Gods. I hid that from them, just as I’d hidden my true gender from all but my closest confidantes. I do believe that this tendency to see deity and it’s representatives as so binary is an opportunity for that community to broaden it’s collective culture, and to become much more accepting.

That’s a topic on which I need to spend more time ruminating, and not really the point of this post. This post is about the moment of euphoria I felt when this younger woman (Yes she knows I’m transgender) acknowledged me as a “respected elder”. I didn’t realize just how much I missed being respected in that community as someone with wisdom worthy of sharing.

To you, my dear friend, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your story is not mine to tell, so there are no identifying details herein. I know you will recognize yourself, though, and I hope you see how truly blessed I was by you today.

Tags: pagan, Transgender, transition