My friend depression

21 Feb

My friend depression is making another visit. Since we all know how well I do on antidepressants, I’m taking a different approach this time. I have decided to try St. John’s Wort.

St John’s wort is widely known as an herbal treatment for depression. In some countries, such as Germany, it is commonly prescribed for mild depression, especially in children and adolescents.

And since I react to pharmaceutical anti-depressants pretty much the same way as children and adolescents (I become suicidal, remember?), I am trying St. John’s because it doesn’t seem to have that side-effect. I just started at last night’s dinner, so I am only two doses in. I’m going to try to start actually updating here again, so look for progress reports hopefully at least weekly.

Why am I depressed again? Well, it’s primarily, I think, due to my recent breakup. She decided to end our relationship after nine months. I won’t go into details as to the whys and wherefores of that. But I think most of you have probably had similar experiences, and may even have had some depression for a time afterwards.

So wish me luck, and better mental health. I’ll take all the good energy I can get.

Bitter Pill: Why Medical Bills Are Killing Us

21 Feb

I’m not through this entire article yet. In fact, I’ve only read the first page, and I am already disgusted.

Been away for a long time

1 Feb

I know, you thought I didn’t exist any more. I do. I just haven’t felt like blogging in quite a while. There wasn’t really anything I wanted to write about. Well that’s technically not true, but parties involved have asked me to keep the interesting stuff private.

I’m living full-time, socially, as a woman. I’ve been on hormones since July 2011, and all seems to be going well in that area. I still wear a wig since I’m prematurely bald. I’ve got a new lace front human hair wig on order from a wig store down in Houston. I expect to have it later this month. I’m really excited about that!

I moved to a northern suburb in April 2012. I could no longer afford to live alone, and it really wasn’t good for my mental health to be surrounded by all the mementos of my time with Barbara. I gave all of that stuff to my heart-daughter. She promised to just hold it for me against the day I want it back.

I now live with a couple I’ve known for many years, and who accept me unequivocally. We share living expenses, and it’s really working well for me. I still telecommute most of the time, and I’m still not out at work. That is my biggest remaining stressor in my life now.

So, that’s the update from me. I’ll try to find something to share more frequently in the future.

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HRT has begun!

28 Jul

Quoted from a private FB post:

Well, once again I have proven that I worry for nothing more often than not. Doctor appt today was perfect, and I have officially begun my HRT!

https://www.facebook.com/janetannelogan/posts/227552387285904

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Well, that was easy

13 Jun

Nissan SentraOver the weekend, I discovered that I had a small chunk missing from the sidewall of the passenger side rear tire on my Nissan Sentra SE-R. Seeing as this is a performance car, the integrity of the tires is critical. So what’s my point? Continue reading →

The Grieving Room: I Guess I Made It

6 Jun

Crossposted from The Grieving Room at Daily Kos by wyldraven

On the eighth of June, I will mark the one year anniversary of Barbara’s death. I still don’t know exactly how I will do so. Anecdotal evidence indicates that most spouses who survive the first year as a widow/widower will continue to live a normal life span. Point in fact, death from broken heart syndrome is rare.

A special welcome to anyone who is new to The Grieving Room. We meet every Monday evening. Whether your loss is recent or many years ago, whether you have lost a person or a pet, or even if the person you are “mourning” is still alive (“pre-grief” can be a very lonely and confusing time) you can come to this diary and process your grieving in whatever way works for you. Share whatever you need to share. We can’t solve each other’s problems, but we can be a sounding board and a place of connection.

Continue reading →

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The Grieving Room: I Guess I Made It

6 Jun

Crossposted from The Grieving Room at Daily Kos by wyldraven

On the eighth of June, I will mark the one year anniversary of Barbara’s death. I still don’t know exactly how I will do so. Anecdotal evidence indicates that most spouses who survive the first year as a widow/widower will continue to live a normal life span. Point in fact, death from broken heart syndrome is rare.

A special welcome to anyone who is new to The Grieving Room. We meet every Monday evening. Whether your loss is recent or many years ago, whether you have lost a person or a pet, or even if the person you are “mourning” is still alive (“pre-grief” can be a very lonely and confusing time) you can come to this diary and process your grieving in whatever way works for you. Share whatever you need to share. We can’t solve each other’s problems, but we can be a sounding board and a place of connection.

Continue reading →

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A good day today!

19 May

I had reason to go to the US Post Office today, to pick up a signature required package. If you’ve never had to do that, here’s a fact you may not know. Besides presenting the “We tried to deliver” notice, you also must present ID indicating you are the person to whom the item is addressed. Care to guess who the package was addressed to? Continue reading →

On Mother’s Day, I contemplate motherhood

8 May

For those of you who don’t know, I do have children. I didn’t have the joy of carrying them in my womb, but they are no less my children for it. Some of them carry my DNA, some do not. I am not their mother. Am I still their father? On this day when we honor mothers, and motherhood, I am no less contemplative of what it means to be a mother. Is it simply the act of carrying a child in your womb? Is that what makes someone a mother? Continue reading →

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Of friends, family, weddings, and backboards

25 Apr

Recently, I attended the wedding (“for all time” hand-fasting actually) of a couple who were more than mere friends. Barbara and I had known them for as many years as we had known each other. We had become close enough that we thought of them as family of choice, beyond mere friendship. Attending their wedding was a really big deal for me, in more ways than one. Continue reading →

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