Back in October, I was in an automobile accident due to an apparent seizure. I’ve now seen the hospital portion of the ER bill. It was $58K+. My copay (because I’m charity without insurance) is $110. The largest portion of that bill is $28K for a CT Scan. The US healthcare system is insane.
HRT and Epilepsy
1 FebTIL. Well, okay, yesterday I learned. No, not from the doctor. I just had begun to notice that my breasts seem to be growing again. As it happens, I’ve got an appointment with an endo who specializes in transgender HRT on next Monday. So I decided to search hormones and epilepsy. This might be about to get interesting, in the “May you live in interesting times” curse definition of interesting.
Continue readingEpilepsy
1 FebI’ve been mostly quiet about this topic so far, because I wasn’t convinced it was accurate. I was diagnosed, on the 7th of January, with a seizure disorder. Back in late October, I had an automobile accident. The accident was a result of an apparent syncope episode while I was behind the wheel. That, combined with a several month pattern of recurring muscle spasms, not helped by muscle relaxers, led my GP to refer me to a neurologist. I saw him on the 6th. We spoke for about 30 minutes about my concerns. He ordered an EEG that same day.
Continue readingMy Father Has Passed
18 JanMy father died on the 3rd of January, 2021. Before you offer me condolences, know that he and I had not spoken for over twelve years. He chose to exclude me from his life, for reasons that I can only guess at. I had been holding out hope for a reconciliation. That time has now passed. I’ve written before about some of the reasons I didn’t pursue reconnecting before. I won’t rehash that now. I learned of his passing from my cousin, his niece. She’s one of the few members of my blood family who still keep in touch with me.
Continue readingHow I lost my faith
12 DecToday is my late wife Barbara’s birthday. She would have been 59. Of course, she didn’t make it to that landmark. She died a little over ten years ago. I was there in the hospital when her heart failed. At 5:30 am, after about 30 minutes of CPR and other resuscitation efforts, the doctor asked my permission to stop those efforts. As I’ve shared before, I told him to “call it.” Continue reading
The WPATH Standards of Care
29 AprThe most recently published version of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) standards of care document is version 7. It was published in 2011, and in many ways, was truly revolutionary. It is available in PDF form in 18 different languages at the link below. Continue reading
Am I Trans Enough?
15 AprHave you asked yourself “Am I trans enough?” This is a particularly significant question for transgender people who waited until later in life to transition, or are only just now exploring their gender as adults. The standard narrative of “I knew since I was a child” and “I transitioned young” certainly is a feel good narrative. However, the alternative that turns out to be true for many, many people is that we knew something was wrong, but couldn’t understand what that something was. We went many years thinking that we were somehow wrong, and begrudgingly accepting that we were broken.
Am I Transgender?
13 AprI am a transgender woman. I am not a professional counselor. I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. I am romantically attracted to women, which makes me a lesbian. There is a common misconception among cisgender people that trans people, by definition, experience a particular sexual orientation. To be specific, that trans women are really just effeminate gay men, and that trans men are just masculine lesbians. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Father’s Day
18 JunIn short, this is not a happy day for me. My own father was emotionally (and occasionally physically) abusive, when he was around, which wasn’t that much. He was committed to “make a man out of” me in the years he was around. You can imagine how well that turned out.
When I finally came out, and started living as my true self, he disappeared completely from my life. I have not heard from him at all in over seven years. He knows how to reach me if he wanted. His current wife is on Facebook, and I also have a cousin on his side who is occasionally in touch.
And as for the fact that I have children of my own? They also dropped out of my life. We were in touch up until about a year after my social transition. Since then, nothing. My daughter didn’t even see fit to tell me when she gave birth. Twice. About the time I transitioned, their mother was whispering in their ears that I was abusive during our failed marriage, and that was the reason for her mental illness.
So, no one is offering me gifts, or well wishes, on this day of celebrating fathers. And before you ask, no one did so on Mother’s Day either. I have made a family of choice. That’s sufficient for me now.
An Aging Trans Woman 