I just won’t go away and stay away. A lot has happened since I last visited with you, some good, some not even close to good. That relationship I was losing? Yeah, I lost it. I suffered a nervous breakdown, or as my psychiatrist called it, a “medicine induced bi-polar episode”. Continue reading
New outfit!
17 Jul
Actually, it’s not that new, but it is the first time I’ve worn it. I really like it. I wore it to go pick up my daughter at work this afternoon.
Dinner out, and good conversation
6 JulHey, I live a not terribly exciting life right now, but at least I am still trying. Continue reading
Dinner out
1 JulJesse and I went out to dinner tonight. It was my first time out since B’s passing. We went to a group dinner with some folks in the Montrose area. It went well, but I unfortunately surprised a friend who didn’t know.
She and her husband had somehow missed my coming out. He got up and left almost immediately. It was a large group, so I have no idea if that was because of me. She was friendly and accepting.
Otherwise, dinner was pleasant and friendly. It was nice to be out of my hermitage for a change.
More about coming out
23 JunAt dinner Monday night, I came out to two more of my younger friends. I was at dinner after the memorial service for Barbara, and I, Shannon, and Charles were the last three to leave the restaurant. We stayed until well after it closed, and talked until well after 11pm.
As we were leaving, I told them about Janet. They recognized my photo from Facebook, and apparently had not connected the photo to my male persona, Ernie. I think that’s a good thing. It means that I really do look different as Janet than I do as Ernie. So long as I am closeted, that’s good.
Passing in public
23 JunA lot is made of the ability to ‘pass’ in public. Today, I went one step further than just passing. I hadn’t actually planned to go out today, but I got up and dressed anyway. It’s important to get dressed every day when you work from home, or working becomes really hard to do. Dressing gets you in the correct mind set. Continue reading
Welcome to my adventures
29 MayI will occasionally post here about being a 50+ non-op transwoman. I am somewhat closeted, in that I am not out at work.
Out and about, or “I did it!”
29 AprB and Jesse took me out shopping last night. We started out at Willowbrook Mall. We didn’t buy anything other than some sugar wax from The Body Shop, but we had a lot of fun browsing Lane Bryant, and Macy’s shoe department. Macy’s had some of the most kick-a** heels on clearance. B found several pair she absolutely loved. Of course, even at clearance prices, we really couldn’t afford them. B dared me to try on this one pair of bright red 4 1/2″ heels (yes, they had shoes in my size), expecting me to have trouble in them. I looked like I had worn them my whole life. 🙂
We had dinner at Sakura Japanese in the Food Court, and then left the mall (it closed at 9pm) and went looking for a Starbuck’s to get frappucinos and lemonade tea. We ended up at the Barnes and Nobles near home, and went in around 9:30 pm, thinking they would be open until 11. We had just ordered and settled down when they announced that they would be closing in 15 minutes. They had shortened the store hours because of the economic downturn. We still hung out and were chatting about various things (the baby mammoth, Lucy, Lucy’s baby, etc) until they announced the store was closed.
As we were leaving, one of the other patrons of the Starbuck’s approached us, and said she had overheard us talking about “Lucy’s baby”. She wanted to know more about it, as she hadn’t heard of it before. We exchanged introductions (Yes, I introduced myself as Janet.) She admitted, rather carefully, that she and her husband were “two of the very few Christians these days who believe in evolution.” She was a vet and her husband a geologist, she told us. We continued talking for a few more minutes, and even continued outside in the parking lot. My transgender status never came up. She addressed me as Janet, and we talked just like I wasn’t a freak :). It was a very positive experience, especially for me.
The entire evening everyone treated me as the female I was presenting. According to Jesse and B, there was one clerk in Lane Bryant that seemed to be having a problem with me, but I didn’t notice it personally. The one clerk who did approach us was friendly and helpful. I reminded B when she told me about it that retail clerks are generally commissioned, and if that one didn’t want our business, I had no problem with that. I’d simply take my money where I was welcome. After all, both B and I are likely to shop in plus size stores for the foreseeable future, and the one clerk who was helpful clearly saw that. Oh, and in Macy’s, we were approached by at least 4 clerks while shopping shoes, and not one of them had any problem with me.
I have no illusions about “passing” as a GG (Genetic Girl). I know better than that. But I was comfortable, happy, and really enjoyed the evening. I was more comfortable in my own skin than I have been for longer than I can remember. And I have to call that a win.
Breast enlargement
16 AprYou know, I have read all that stuff that tells GGs (Genetic Girls) that breast enlargement products don’t work. Ever. None of them do anything, and are all a waste of money. Perhaps for GGs that’s true. I have now confirmed that taking phyto-estrogens does work for me. Yep, that’s right. I’ve been taking Saw Palmetto for over a month, and I can say without a doubt that my bust has enlarged. I’ve gone from full A (left) / almost B (right) to almost B / full B. I’m now adding fenugreek and a couple of more herbs (see Nature’s Bounty Breast Solutions) to my regimen. I’ll keep you informed as I see further changes.
Announcement
13 MarI am finally able to admit to myself that I am transgendered. I am slowly coming out to various very close friends about my status. So far, those I have told have been quite supportive, with one particular exception, who shall remain nameless. B has been my most ardent supporter, and I am incredibly grateful that I have her in my life.