TL;DR: Everything is fine.
I have diverticulosis, and internal hemorrhoids. Neither of those is news. The really good news? They found no polyps at all, and I’m back on 5-year cycle. That’s incredible, when you consider the family history, and my personal history of polyps in prior exams.
I woke up after anesthesia drowsy and a bit wobbly. A nurse brought me a ginger ale, and I lay there for a few minutes getting my wits about me. They summoned my escort J (via prearranged pager). By the time she got to my room, I was dressed and ready to leave. Nurse asked if I needed a wheelchair, but before I could answer, J looks at me and says: “Yes!”
Still hung over a bit by the time we got home, I sat down and posted quick updates to those folks who knew this was happening, and would be concerned. I went to bed early that night, and slept deeply until I awoke at 4:45 am.
I had an incredibly affirming experience. Everyone involved in the process was lovely, friendly, and treated me as Janet unequivocally. The staff, the nurses, the techs. They all called me Janet, and treated me like the woman I am. I called the unit manager that evening, and left a voice mail, giving them 10 out of 5 stars for the experience.
The woman (V) who did my pre-procedure telephone interview made a special effort to come see me before my procedure. She’s an older woman, with a very motherly air about her. I enjoyed talking to her during the interview. That she came to see me beforehand was just above and beyond.
While going through the process of the very cute young nurse (B) reviewing my history, etc before the procedure, we were chatting like a couple of girls, which we were, of course. I noticed, and commented on, her stunning engagement ring, she showed me photos of the moment when he popped the question, etc.
It came to a point when I felt the need to ask if I could keep my wig on. They’d already had me remove all jewelry. So I asked. She responded: “That’s not your real hair? I was just about to tell you how much I loved the color. I would never have known!” It was my burgundy short wig that day.
We chatted a bit more. At one point she says to me: “Beautiful hair. Beautiful breasts.” (As I’m sitting there wearing my purple Victoria’s Secret bra, a barely there hospital gown, and a tech is hooking me up to an ECG for the the procedure.) So, yeah, the breasts were visible. B knew they were natural, because one of the things we’d already reviewed was my surgical history, and I’d made a silly comment about how I’d grown these breasts, thank you very much!
Multiple achievements unlocked. I got the colon cancer all clear for the next five years. But more impressive, to me at least, was the apparent fact that a pretty, young, cis hetero (maybe pan?) nurse was flirting with me? At my age?
The journey continues.
An Aging Trans Woman 
Hi. Janet this is wonderful and beautiful. Let me start by first congratulate you on a great outcome. I have had only one of these but Ron has had several. For those that don’t know the procedure is very intimate and invasive. The patient is in a very vulnerable state. The preprocedure is horrific, at least the time I had to do it. I drank so much of the liquid so fast I threw up into my laptop. Sorry you have internal hemorrhoids, Ron had them and had to have them banded and removed. He said it was very painful.
As for wigs, I wouldn’t have known if you had not mentioned it. I lived next to a woman for years. One day I was in her home and she had a bath towel wrapped around her head. She said sorry I don’t have my one of my wigs on. I was shocked. I blurted out that I did not know she wore wigs. Side story they were in a wig shop looking at wigs. She found one she liked and since no prices were marked and they were thrifty, she asked how much. The owner snottily replied if they had to ask they couldn’t afford it. What the owner did not know was they were very wealthy, just thrifty. Needless to say they did not buy anything.
I love and feel so grand that the place you are in treated you as the woman you are. Everyone should. The way you were treated is how every person and patient should be treated. Ron and I have worked in ICUs. I did it for 4 years, and Ron did it for nearly 20. We treated every patient the way the staff all treated you. But we know some staff did not have that grace in them to treat others as they would hope to be treated by others. Wonderful post, I am very happy for you. Hugs. Scottie
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Thank you Scottie. Maybe TMI: …. As long as I don’t insert anything, my hemorrhoids don’t cause pain. But suppositories, boofed progesterone? Yeah, no.
I had to drink a gallon of that stuff, but they split it up. 96 oz the night before, the rest the morning of, very early. I have learned over the years that the flavoring is what makes me gag. I can drink it unflavored. The results aren’t pleasant, but at least it didn’t gag me.
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Very good news, Janet! I’m happy I’ll be able to read you for a long time to come! And what a wonderful experience, especially considering the experience. Whew!
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I know. Those folks at that clinic are just incredible loving people. That’s how you treat patients. Treat them like people first, not illnesses. 💜
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