Tag Archives: Family

More on my father’s passing

15 Mar

Just need to get something off my chest.

As you likely know, my father passed away in January 2021. We hadn’t spoken in a dozen or so years. He didn’t approve of my life choices. It was difficult nonetheless that we weren’t able to reconcile, but I got past that. Or so I thought anyway.

Tonight, my female cousin on his side reached out to me, at the request of his widow, my stepmother. My cousin asked for permission to provide my contact info. It seems that his will is being probated and they needed my contact info for that process. I told my cousin she could provide my info to stepmom.

Mind you, unless I am sorely mistaken, there isn’t much to probate, and nothing I’d particularly want from him, or her. Anyway, I’m not exactly looking forward to hearing from the stepmother. It’s just brought up unresolved pain. For example, she deadnamed me in his obituary.

And now, that’s off my chest. At least, I hope so.

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Father’s Day

18 Jun

In short, this is not a happy day for me. My own father was emotionally (and occasionally physically) abusive, when he was around, which wasn’t that much. He was committed to “make a man out of” me in the years he was around. You can imagine how well that turned out.

When I finally came out, and started living as my true self, he disappeared completely from my life. I have not heard from him at all in over seven years. He knows how to reach me if he wanted. His current wife is on Facebook, and I also have a cousin on his side who is occasionally in touch.

And as for the fact that I have children of my own? They also dropped out of my life. We were in touch up until about a year after my social transition. Since then, nothing. My daughter didn’t even see fit to tell me when she gave birth. Twice. About the time I transitioned, their mother was whispering in their ears that I was abusive during our failed marriage, and that was the reason for her mental illness.

So, no one is offering me gifts, or well wishes, on this day of celebrating fathers. And before you ask, no one did so on Mother’s Day either. I have made a family of choice. That’s sufficient for me now.

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