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My friend depression

21 Feb

My friend depression is making another visit. Since we all know how well I do on antidepressants, I’m taking a different approach this time. I have decided to try St. John’s Wort.

St John’s wort is widely known as an herbal treatment for depression. In some countries, such as Germany, it is commonly prescribed for mild depression, especially in children and adolescents.

And since I react to pharmaceutical anti-depressants pretty much the same way as children and adolescents (I become suicidal, remember?), I am trying St. John’s because it doesn’t seem to have that side-effect. I just started at last night’s dinner, so I am only two doses in. I’m going to try to start actually updating here again, so look for progress reports hopefully at least weekly.

Why am I depressed again? Well, it’s primarily, I think, due to my recent breakup. She decided to end our relationship after nine months. I won’t go into details as to the whys and wherefores of that. But I think most of you have probably had similar experiences, and may even have had some depression for a time afterwards.

So wish me luck, and better mental health. I’ll take all the good energy I can get.

Bitter Pill: Why Medical Bills Are Killing Us

21 Feb

I’m not through this entire article yet. In fact, I’ve only read the first page, and I am already disgusted.

Lupus Advocacy Day 2011

1 Mar

Originally posted at DailyKos, but everything I post there gets lost in overload.

Lupus kills. Today was Lupus Advocacy Day 2011. It’s too late for Barbara, but maybe we can save someone else. We need more research. Continue reading

Another try with anti-depressants for fibromyalgia

17 Feb

This past Tuesday, I started a very low dose of amitriptyline for my fibro, with instructions to “ramp up” the dosage as needed and tolerated. I started at 10mg, with instructions to increase dosage in 10mg steps up to 50mg per day. Continue reading

Will You Cry for Me, John Boehner?

19 Jan

Tell Speaker Boehner Who He Should be Crying For
Below, share your personal struggle with the healthcare system (anonymously if you prefer) or share other reasons for concern (like how millions will fall into poverty if Congress cuts Medicare) with Speaker Boehner.

Will You Cry for Me, John Boehner?

I shared my story, or is it Barbara’s? Continue reading

Strange new sleep development

26 Dec

It’s nothing new that I haven’t been going to sleep at what would be considered a normal time for me. For months now, I’ve slept between four and six hours a night on average, beginning between 1am and 3am. Before, when Barbara was at home, I tended to be ready for bed and asleep no later than about 11pm, and would sleep for eight to nine hours a night. Continue reading

No, we have not found the cause of CFS/ME

23 Dec

Apparently, like many others, I was premature when I wondered Have we found the cause of ME/CFS and FMS? Scientists have discovered that the XMRV positive results were almost certainly a case of lab contamination. Ah, well, on to the next theory, I suppose. Until then, I live the best life I can.

Contamination Invalidates Study That Linked Virus to Chronic Fatigue.

… Towers’ team said the XMRV in the studies that linked it to CFS was from contamination by a laboratory cell line. The sequences from the contaminated cell line and chronic fatigue patient samples were very similar, which is contrary to what scientists would expect from a virus if it were spreading in humans. …

Quick update

16 Dec

Fibromyalgia is still flaring, but the warmer weather seems to have helped. I don’t do well with cold. That’s one of the main reasons I avoided moving to where Barbara would have preferred to live.

Finances are still tight, but I am holding my own. I’m still working my way through bulk foods bought when K and T were still here. Frozen, canned, dried. Might as well use it while I can.

I’m crying less, and when I do, I can name the specific trigger for the tears. So I guess that’s progress. My therapist has made some recommendations on where I should focus my energy that, while I see the purpose, I am not entirely comfortable with. Still thinking that over.

I did the homework he gave me. It wasn’t any easier than I thought it would be when he first gave it to me two weeks ago. Nonetheless, he seemed satisfied with it. I guess that’s good too.

I’m just taking things day by day now. I still can’t see my future, or really my motivation. It takes time, and I refuse to be rushed by people who don’t know what this is like.

Today’s Fibro Flare

14 Dec

Yeah, I am flaring like the flame that burns off waste at your favorite petrochemical plant. Started yesterday, with the IBS, though I honestly didn’t realize it was a fibro flare until today. Continue reading

Visit to psychiatrist today

7 Dec

Saw the psychiatrist today, at the urging of my primary care doctor. She didn’t feel at all qualified to handle the issues brought about by my “Fun with Cymbalta“. So off to see a psychiatrist I went. This was the first time I ever saw one as a patient. I’ve been an involved party before, but never a patient. So it was very much a new experience for me. Continue reading