In the past few months, I have come to believe that I am probably autistic. I came to this conclusion based largely upon feedback from friends, and a bit of research online. I am very late to this realization, but the autistic community seems to mostly agree that self-diagnosis is valid. This is largely due to the extreme difficulty in obtaining an official diagnosis as an adult.
Most autism is diagnosed in young children. That diagnosis usually comes as a result of the parents seeking help with developmental delays. Indeed, of my three grandchildren, two have been diagnosed as autistic before the age of five. I’ve been thinking, mostly subconsciously, about that fact since my estranged daughter reached out, indirectly, back in 2019 to ask me to join in a genetic research study on autism. The website for that project’s FAQs is located here.
The fact that research is being done looking for a genetic component struck me. But I put it out of my mind after submitting my DNA sample, and moved on with life. A lot was going on back then. Besides, even that study suggests that only a small percentage of people with autism are likely to show genetic differences. And then there’s the fact that I have an above average IQ1 according to standardized testing, and that is rare in the population of people with autism. While it’s uncommon for individuals with autism to have an above-average IQ, it does not exclude the possibility of being autistic.
I was placed in so-called TAG programs early in my elementary years. I am well aware of the issues now seen with that testing, so there’s no need to bring that to my attention, thank you.
I’m not going to spend a lot time today going into the details of how I came to believe I am autistic. That’s best left for a day when I’ve had more than four hours of sleep. I will provide a link that I found interesting regarding autism and high intelligence, here. Honestly, it will take me a while to digest that thoroughly.
I have had difficulty integrating with neurotypical people most of my life. I wrote that off initially to my intelligence, and how that made me a target for bullying. Later, as I began to recognize my gender issues, I realized that also probably made me a target. Lastly, I am a highly empathic person, and so am often uncomfortable in social situations. All of those traits are apparently rather common among autistic people too.
It’s interesting to me the things that occupy my mind when I have a rather sleepless night, such as I did overnight last night2. Also, is it possible that I’m having a sleepless night not only because of pain, but also because of neurodivergence? On that note, I’ll wrap up this post. Ask me questions if you are inclined, here or on Mastodon.
An Aging Trans Woman 
Leave a comment